My Father's Gone to See That Land

Today is the fourth anniversary of my Dad's death. The first year after he died, I made the huge mistake of trying to carry on with business as usual. So I'm taking a personal day today. This has been an emotionally charged week anyway-- my parents' wedding anniversary was Valentine's Day, this is my first year without a class of kids to shower with valentines, and I had my mid-year evaluation conference. In the last two weeks, we've had two half-day meetings, one evening meeting, two professional development meetings to deliver, one all-day training to attend, all in addition to the normal workload. So taking the day to go to the doctor and dentist seems like a vacation.

One of the reasons I love Sacred Harp is that it recognizes death. I often joke that all the songs are about how happy you will be when you die, but I'm so grateful that there is a weekly opportunity to sing my dead to peace. I carry many people in my heart: my dad, my mom, all my grandparents, two good friends, a former student, and several members of my Quaker meeting. When a loss is fresh, singing these songs is a way to honor the spirit of the dead and comfort my own. It aerates the grief. As time passes, singing calls their presence to me. Well, now I think that maybe singing allows the living to join the angel choir, instead of them joining us... 153 (Resurrrected) was one of the first songs I learned to lead. It's a song that calls my parents to mind (we sing it a second time substituting mother for father), but it was also a song I sang a lot when a former student of mine finally died of cancer. He had gone out of remission the year he was in my class, and died two years later.

My father's gone to see that land...
To wear a starry crown
Away over yonder...
to wear a starry crown