Last Sunday, I checked out The Sweet Flypaper of Life by Langston Hughes and Roy de Carva. Sweet little book, by the way. I noticed later when I checked my record online that the book had a due date 3 days after the checkout date, which struck me as odd. I brushed it off, though, and figured I'd get the book back during the grace period anyway (4 days after due date) by returning it this Saturday. I checked my record today to discover I had been charged $4. The only materials that cost $1 per day late are audio books and movies, so I was rather stunned. On today's visit to the library, I told the clerk today about the problem, and she had to get someone more senior to deal with it. And here is where the crazy begins.
Petty Idiot Library Lout (PILL)*: Yeah, you owe $5- $4 for the book and $1 for a movie.
Me: Yes, I did return the movie late, so that charge is fair. But the fee for the book is not.
PILL: OK, I can waive $3 of the fine, you pay $1.
Me: Why $1?
PILL: It's a reference book and it was late. You shouldn't have been able to take it out in the first place. We gave you the notice.
Me: But no one called my attention to this, it was in the regular stacks, nothing has a due date of 3 days, and only videos and audio books cost $1 per day (okay, how scary is it that I can recite the library's policies, when I haven't worked there in over a decade?).
PILL: Okay, you pay the $1 you owe and I waive the rest.
Me: I don't have money on me, I'll have to pay the dollar later.
PILL: You have to pay it today. If you don't pay today, then you'll have to come back later and do this all again when you have the money.
Me: No, that's not fair.
At this point, PILL goes off for reinforcements, thankfully in the form of a Sane Librarian (SL).
SL: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I checked out a book on May 30, returned it this Saturday, and was charged $4.
SL: (checks record online) Oh, I see. It was a reference book that probably shouldn't have circulated. That's our fault for letting it go out, so we'll go ahead and waive the entire fine.
I don't think I imagined the "WTF, dude!?!" thought bubble above his head as he glanced at PILL.
PILL waived the fine with poor grace while lecturing me about checking my receipt. I did not laugh at him, I did not call him an idiot, I did not respond at all. I just kept saying to myself, "Shut up. You're getting what you want, so just SHUT UP so you can get out of here before sunset." Finally, he called the first assistant over to finish checking out my books.
"I don't blame you," she whispered to me.
*Yeah, the irony of pettily complaining about pettiness is not lost on me.

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