Pondering Presents

This is the time of year when presents are big, and I find myself bemused by the whole culture of Christmas giving. There was a long thread on a discussion forum where people (almost all women) posted their "haul" that especially prompted these musings. On this thread, some women wrote about how they hadn't gotten what they wanted, or gotten a present that struck them as inappropriate (underwear from the mother-in-law and a vacuum cleaner from the husband were two that got a lot of discussion). Other women shared their strategies of providing their husbands with a list, actually purchasing the item themselves, and/or wrapping their own presents. A few lucky folks shared tales of thoughtful family and partners who made or purchased thoughtful gifts, but these seemed to be in the minority.

Well, at least these strategic folks seemed satisfied, but the whole thing strikes me as weird. Is it really a present if you pick it out for yourself? Do we really need the excuse of Christmas to shop for ourselves? And I wonder if we don't sometimes read way too much into a present. The amount we are loved is not measured in the dollar amount spent upon us or the number of presents under our tree, and anyone who thinks so probably has been watching too many Christmas sale commercials. And while sometimes a person's inability to get an appropriate gift does in fact reflect something about the state of the relationship, a lot of times that really isn't the case, and we need to accept the love behind the gift while we ponder what exactly to do with the object itself.

I used to listen to the anti-Christmas rants with a bit of resentment. I like presents, lights, decorations, and holiday food. Especially the food. I don't want to ignore the whole thing, but I'm really glad my own Christmas was drama-free. I got a few small gifts from friends and coworkers, and gave small gifts to whomever I felt like giving them to. And except for waiting till Christmas morning to finish making one of the presents, it was all pretty low-key.